Take Another to Lunch

 I've taken another to lunch, I've actually done it a couple of times with mixed results. In one instance my lunch companion and I walked away with a better understanding of one another's perspective, it resulted in a more enlightened conversation and team work. No longer was there a sense of division. In another instance, it didn't go so well. While in my opinion I felt we had developed a shared understanding and respect of one another's perspective, the reality is, the meeting fueled further division. My name, and my perspective were tarnished, belittled, and discredited. It was and is an extremely painful experience, I was trying to be nice, get to know people, and do a good job. Come to find out, this individual and my boss shared opinions and perspectives about me. They communicate with each other that shared discontent (about my views) regularly. It makes it very hard to go to work, there's now a negative aura the encircles our communications. It's tough because I really enjoy my job, I enjoy the work that I get to do, I enjoy the people I get to help. For all intents and purposes, the job is really easy! You show up, fly an airplane, go home, how much easier can that be? Unfortunately, the culture and environment just doesn't feel good. I don't feel welcomed, appreciated, or respected. I feel as if I constantly have to defend myself, my ideas and my perspective, even when I know I am right. Getting to know other people, even those you disagree with can be important to gaining and growing new perspectives, acquiring new knowledge, and ultimately working as part of a team or group to solve a problem or accomplish a mission. It's important to be prepared though, just because you have good intentions and will, doesn't mean others share that intent. What you view as an opportunity to get to know someone, learn, grow, and foster team work, could for another, be an opportunity to plagiarize information, ideas, and thoughts. While this should not deter one from seeking to get to know others regardless their perspective, it should serve as a caution, make sure when this conversation is had clear intentions are established and the 'lunch' is conducted in accordance with personal and organizational ethics in mind. Not adhering to these ethical standards could compromise the meeting and leave you or your companion departing the meeting uneasy about what the future holds.